Oh just a soda. I'm "driving"
He like poked it twice with the tip of his tongue then left it alone. I'm sad.
I just threw up a christmastime peep. I am literally already sick of the holidays.
my affection for youporn is starting to get disturbing... i just thought about sending them a christmas card
You tried to pay the bartender in graduation checks, I think you'll be fine in the real world.
I just imagined your drunkass eating Taco Bell in my living room. This is the Godmother of my potential child.
Doing lines of cocaine in the bathroom and the word 'better' do not belong in the same sentence.
they were having sex on the toilet apparently and everytime someone knocked they flushed. it was like an auditory scoreboard of sex duration.
I swear, he has the body awareness of an acid-tripping quadriplegic.
I wish my brain had a "congrats you just defeated the munchies" notification!
It's Saturday night and I'm sitting on my couch by myself, watching Glee, and drinking gin and tonics. If you listen very closely, you can hear the wails of my mother giving up hope that I will ever give her a son-in-law.
Speaking of church, everyone showed up to lunch in the dining hall in their Sunday best and I walk in looking homeless bc I just got out of bed. I hate this school.
I fucked my ex boyfriend to get shrooms for you guys
That's the sweetest thing I've ever heard
This drink tastes like mosquito repellent.
This should be illegal
It is
I mean more illegal... I shouldn't have this
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