Good seeing you too. Don't worry, you didn't miss out on too much last night. We went to a place where there was supposed to be a wet t-shirt contest, but it was more like two ugly girls dancing around on stage in white shirts. Everyone just wanted them to leave so the band could keep playing
Bisexual people are plain selfish.
Just saw some guy walking down the street rapping about various types of pasta.
wow, so sex, not that great its like masturbating with a warm towelette, like the kind you get at a japanese restaurant
Dude its barely eleven am and there is already a firetruck and ambulance at the shamrock...happy st paddys day
So you actually don't remember giving head to the Neil Armstrong statue last night?
I tried calming him down but his eyes are rolling to the back of his head and he's yelling "COMA WEED!"
so, does the "dick the size of your forearm" thing run in the family then?
My new best friend is the drag queen who works at mcdonalds and doesnt judge me during my walk of shame coffee break
I'm filtering his penis picture so I can see it better
There was a clear and well defined point last night where I could've decided to go home but no now I've woken up with glitter all over my nuts and potentially an std or 2
He got you flowers. How bad can the sex really be?
Well, he pretended he was climbing me like he was a monkey and I was a tree during sex.
Dude. So. Much. Sex. Find a girl in her 30s. Now.
I'm sorry I get my lefts and rights confused because I'm dyslexic. But, it took you at least 15 minutes to figure out it wasn't your room OR YOUR HUSBAND.
Randomize
