I was happy to be the center of attention..until i realized why everyone was staring
I had the spins so badly it was like I was having sex with 2 girls
It took 5 minutes to find my bra.. in his car.
his dad came out and found me sleeping indian style on the couch with my cup balancing on my boobs. didn't spill a drop.
I think rendering her infertile would be a valid community service project
come over after work tomorrow, liz and i will make all of your wildest dreams come true. so long as your wildest dreams involve drinking champagne at my house with two girls who won't have sex with you.
Just found a wrench in the washing machine. Sooo not doing your laundry anymore.
My only regret is that we didn't pee on our neighbors Prius
you peed off the balcony at your sisters and asked someone below to catch it with a cup
smoked four grams out of a bong with a mixture of pool water and white rum. I applaud you for leaving before losing too many brain cells.
I was basically just fingering myself and thinking about space.
She left you responsible for her guinea pig for what, 3 hours? And it somehow died under your care? I will no longer trust you with so much as a beer.
I didn't want to leave, I wanted to move into his ass
Do you think if I had a tempurpedic bed he would still be able to feel me fingering myself after we have sex?
So I guess I walked across campus with "pat my ass" in sharpie on my forehead.
You deserve it, you colossal cock block.
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