nosebleed girl is getting lots of praise
if i could have babies with my dog i totally would cause i know thay would be fucking hott babies.
i had 75 notifications coming from ur status. here i was thinking i had friends.
other girls like to lick balls but none of them live for it like u do
He had in his status he loved beating off and tagged his wife. another reason facebook should be for college.
Yeah dude. They were so drunk they actually drank the pool water. Which I'm pretty sure will kill them. My parents chlorine the shit out of that thing cuz they know how much sex my brothers have in it
Just keep my face away from hard objects. And by that I do not mean erect penised.... those are totally fine. It's more just things like rocks, table edges, blunt objects, etc so I don't get another concussion.
Whatever you do tomorrow don't let me put on the Borat mankini and yell "POLAR PLUNGE!!" while diving into the pool
The pool is covered.....
Like that would stop me.
Hey, it's not my fault that you had a shitty bed frame that couldn't handle the rough sex you're into.
You've never felt ridiculous until you've walked through downtown in a Viking costume
We shall need something stronger. Anal lube, the blood of a giraffe, and a bay leaf should do the trick. Make the paste and cover your left knee and anus in it.
Whenever you have to pee or whatever I'll be over here to harass you
When you can't finish your jumbo margarita and figure pouring it into a to go box will suffice... Midnight snack?
How do I un-spend everything I bought last night? Seriously...was a penis shaped piñata and enough tequila to fill my bathtub really that necessary?
At least you can say you've literally dumped money down the drain
I want to strut with the confidence of a pigeon.
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