Don't know whats worst me sharding on her a bit or her believing me when i told her she did it...
The streak lives on, still havent been to Towson without throwing up
The guy is drinking 5 bottles of beer in a juice pitcher. Fucking amazing.
like a sex slave...but with a better dental insurance plan
Im going to make a sandwich and see if my books came from amazon. I cant believe two years ago i was dating eight guys and teaching russian exchange students how to do shots.
I got to see some gay bartender let a girl with daddy issues whip Travis in the balls with his own belt. Totally worth it.
Don't send the creepy guy a picture of your penis. That's my Christmas wish
Whiskey dick has taught us to be smart with our time.
But that background check said 51...Omg. If I hooked up with someone that's my dads age.....
he had a Pillsbury dough boy tattoo to remind him of his drug dealing days
You were passed out by the toliet and when i said i had to pee you told me to piss in the sink. Never has a girl with alcohol poisoning been so rude.
Your birthday is now over. Your day in the spotlight has dimmed and now you're as special as everyone else. The world goes back to revolving around me. Good night.
I'm in his bed with no pants on and he's just eating a sloppy joe
Memeber that time you got detained in Poland. We don’t talk about that enough
I made her pull the car over 5 times to puke because she was going to fast, apparently she was only going 30mph...
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