k, so I just picked a four leaf clover, then saw my dads penis. Lucky? I think not.
just got my goo swallowed for the first time. colors seem so much more vivid now, and more rainbows are outside
im goin to the NYE party with a tuxedo painted on my body. i know a girl who does it. wanna join?
Bad news is he broke up with me via text message
But the good news is I've returned as mayor of whoreville
I think it was our ex-neighbor Mike. He leaves Taco Bell outside our door a lot
He'll drop off his extra tacos at our place bc he's super high when he orders & can't eat them all
the realtor just asked me if i've ever made meth on this property.... i need to do something about my hair
I paid some man $10 for his shirt last night cause I liked it. Explains that. Bought the jackolope head from a street vendor. Got invited to someone's hotel rooftop swimming pool which explains why I was in my bathing suit. My clothes from last night are MIA. Going over the border with no pants on is awkward. Origins of the car rim still mysterious.
there are casual beer cans in all of the public trashes, i belong here
They were loudly fucking last night and there was way too much conversation involved. It wasn't even dirty talk, it was more like "your doing it wrong" talk
Dude, I puked in the stall for God knows how long. Halfway through, a kid sits down in the stall next to me and starts jacking off, i heard the porn on his phone and everything. so FYI, the middle stall is where good nights go to die
Ohh I see how it works, eat pussy and I get Reese's pieces.
I'll be honest, I too would punch the 21 year old version of myself in the face, and then have rough sex with him.
Wait are we really having an orgy on Tuesday?
Knowing there are different types of spiders in different countries and regions makes me never want to travel.
I told my coworker that I'd get him some edibles because he wants to rekindle his marriage. I'd better get some good karma out of this.
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