So for his birthday I'm planning on doing what stripper did when she put the matches on her nipples..lights them n makes him blow them out..SEE I AM dating material.
this girl literally referred to her butthole as her "back pussy"
you may be an alcoholic when your drug dealer calls to yell at you for drinking too
can't wait for January to be Over so I don't have to see all the fat resolutionists working out.
And surprisingly enough iPhone does not have an app for Russian mail order brides.
Is it illegal to masterbate in an airport?
It's spring break, I'm sure it's ok.
The boys in front of me put beer, red plastic cups, ping pong balls, lighterfluid, and twelve packs of pantyhose on the conveyor belt. Whatever drinking game they're playing, I want a part in.
Youre on making sure I dont black out around fat chicks duty
I don't care how old I am, if it's your 21st birthday I'm going to make out with you.
He's going to regret telling me he doesn't care if i shave or not...
Dude it's huge. I don't usually like looking at those things, but you're kind of forced to stare that horse in the face.
I'm driving home wearing one sock, boxers, and a tee shirt. That's how good it was
Pulling on my sock literally just took me 5 minutes.. The hangover is real
Come home, I'm drunk on the porch and pretending to smoke breadsticks like cigarettes. Enticing, right?
so we just got back from swapping peoples patio furniture around to different patios. some people might like unexpected change. others might regret living on the ground floor.
Randomize
