Journey is playing on the radio....I think it is a sign I am going to pass my drug test
soo according to the calendar on my phone, I'm 5 minutes late to have sex with that guy from work. Apparently we planned this, I even set an alarm.
And. No one ejaculated on anyones face. This is all wrong
There was a pool of blood on my desk and we still don't know who it belongs to. missed a good party, man.
you made wolf sounds and yelled "team me" the entire movie
Just pull your dick out and wink at her, its a game changing play
Your lack of dedication to alcohol is forcing me to drink with my ex husband. U suck
Witnessing a crazy lady on the bus screaming about how romney is one of the four horsemen of the apocalypse.
Sigh. I'll find the right guy one day.
Prince charming is right around the corner and will be freaky as shit!
Peeing in taco bell cups is part of the fun of going to taco bell
I would wear his ballsack as a hat if he asked me to
Apparently the cops had to handcuff me in order to get me to come with to the hospital with them. They asked me if I had had any experience with handcuffs before and I replied, "Only in bed." What a life
He is obviously into the really short sex we have.
Lately I've been very attracted to Kevin Jonas because he's like...less hot than Joe, but he's this healthy mix of both Joe and Nick. It looks like he's finally growing into himself.
The heart wants what the heart wants, and once again it’s a guy with brown hair, wears a chain, and has a nicotine addiction.
Randomize
