Admittedly I was a little ambitious with some of the positions but you walked in during the worst of it.
so today I found out that she used to be a he....
are you gonna get a divorce?
is asking a girl out on a date while in another girls bed in poor taste?
so my dad walked in on us having sex
lulz really? why?
lets just say he wont be answering to 'daddy' for a loooooong time
Oh please. You given/recieved a handjob out in public. I think that shy ship has sailed.
I woke up this morning with a hospital armband on containing all the information off my fake i.d. WTF did we do last night!?!?
If we don't get kicked out of this hotel tonight for fucking too loud we're breaking up
The preggo girl brought her pet chipmunk to class today. fyi.
I think my sister is getting tired of me breaking into her house so I can sleep with random girls when shes not there
I'm not entirely sure what we did is legal in the U.S., but I know that couple wont be the same
You have to keep an eye on her tonight cause you know how she likes to pickpocket people when she's drunk.
Literally the only reason we didnt get arrested was because the cop said I reminded him of Steve Stifler from American Pie
You'll pass into the great gay beyond
Where it rains cosmopolitans and scantily clad gogo dancers of all genders direct traffic
I have the overwhelming need to take care of him. Both with my vagina and like emotionally.
Did you mark a random day on my calendar as National Seth Day?
Sounds like a legit day to me.
Randomize
