Just got mistaken for a cardboard cutout ad in line at Taco Bell. New low?
You three are like the Bermuda Triangle for morals.
Well, they emptied out the keg by the third kegstand for America.
I blew him and did charles barkley impressions at the same time. what a pro
You called your ex's vag an "AIDS Pinata". Drunk You is the Hulk Hogan of insults.
Going to the u of w I constantly have that moment of, oh hey I felt you up at that rave at folk fest that one time. Winnipeg is too small.
She really is something else.
Words cannot describe what though. The best way to describe her is to say it like watching a bear and a whale have sex. You don't know why it's happening or how. But it's rather funny and you can't look away.
Did you cry?
I don't think so. I definitely lost my cool though
Yeah i think jesus would lose his cool in that situation
I miss using glorious as an adjective. I'm gonna start doing that again. And I'm gonna try to get cuntatrosphe in there some more, too.
How will you ever teach your dogs to pee outside when the biggest puddle on your bedroom carpet is from you?
I need to sanitize my soul.
So apparently I twerked on my coworkers last night. One month at the new job n I guess this is how I'm getting to know people
I'M TRYING. TO WATCH. PORN. PLS HAVE UR IMPORTANT DISCUSSIONS ELSEWHERE FUCKERS
I have nice boobs. Don't wanna deprive anyone of the experience.
You're a saint.
I got kicked out of the E.R. for saying "balls".
Randomize
