i hate sounding clingy, but i just wanted to verify i wasn't an asshole in your mind
Kareoke will never be a sober sport
I look like a sausage in jean shorts, you should have woken up earlier and approved my outfit.
dude, never take two tylenol pm and smoke three bowls. i feel like i'm covered in cold ants.
At front desk. Got a beer drinking pigeon.
Russians do not operate on the same level as the rest of us. hoping I wake up tomorrow
he may or may not have motorboated me on the steps of the library of congress
I just want a boyfriend who will have sex to Disney Pandora.
I'm not sure why he thinks weird that I masturbate AND look at pinterest at the same time.
I got wine drunk and bought a hedgehog.
He usually doesnt care about me cumming but last night he really tried, I feel that him going to the Womens March benefitted my sex life
My boobs look fucktastic, I have a booty call on Sunday and a dick photo on my phone. Life is grand!
He asked me how many starwars references he could make before i no longer find him attractive.
My goal tonight is to be arrested by the Police Women of Cincinnati.
His sex game is strong it’s like a warlord’s dick! you know what I mean?
Nope
Randomize
