are u sure the monkey wasnt drunk too
i want two things in life...emily to stop talking and a block of cheese.
hahah your definitly as dumb as I think I thought you are. boom roasted.
I woke up to somebody tossing my salad... I should have drank more
Dude I thought this was going to suck, but moving back in with my dad is like being at a frat party every night only everyone is 40 years old.
It took us hanging out like four times to kiss. Id like to fuck you before I'm 30
You could give me a blowjob later? :)
I meant do something romantic..
Blowjob In the moonlight?
Bath mats should not be used at mops. they don't work. consider this a drunk psa
And after we were done he said "Let's play a game! Who can find their clothes first"
I feel like I have to sign a death waver before I have sex with him...
Just told my boss I wasn't coming in to work because of a serious case of blue balls. Totally made having them worth it.
Oh man, are we repeating last 4th of July?!
That shouldn't even be a question, it's a tradition now. Hope your manhood is ready.
They're magnificent. It's like god made her last but hadn't fulfilled his boob quota.
A real best friend would support the hoe in me. Not remind me of what happened the last time I slept with a boss
sorry bout the carpet, but you DID call it "blackout punch" not "don't vom on my floor punch"
Randomize
