Ok walking to car, 3 gay guys park get out of car, one on phone says 'I dont know but I was definately getting some curb rubbing'
I haven't had sex in so long I'll probably find some stranger, feel guilty, go w/o sex for several months and do it all over again...always something to look forward to
i have absolutely no control over my now miserable and whore-ish lifestyle.
she took out her dip, threw up, and put it back in. it was like a scene from Nick and Nora's trip to the trailer park.
Practice the "sorry I may have given you herpes" conversation with me before I call him and break the news
the can pyramid on my head actually reached a decent height before I moved.
Just wanna let u know that we are almost on the pity blow job level of our friendship.
Me and him getting it in is for special occasions only. Like Christmas and when they bring the McRib back.
Just saw a guy I fucked in a clown suit in the bar. It's not Halloween. I have got to start making better life decisions.
If it makes you feel any better, I'm eating a block of cheese...
Blocking me on Facebook doesn't change the fact that you've had my penis in my mouth. So there's that.
THE STRIPPER HAD A GUN JOHN!
Stop talking and go back to bed. You're in the kitchen in your underwear and slept in your car.
at this point I think you're judging my taste in men
I swear I'm not
It's okay, I'm judging my taste in men
Tequila. The ruiner of all good intentions.
Randomize
