i just had sex. the condom broke. we're sleeping in to separate beds. And im in albany
I'm going to an arts college, I live next to the frat houses, and my room number is 420. god has plans for me and I couldn't be happier.
whatever. i fb stalked him and his pic comments are witty. so i'm going for it.
the new roommate knocked on my door this morning holding a bong in one hand and my dennys leftovers from last night in the other. love this kid. Best student housing placement ever.
OH GOD PAJAMAS ARE SUCH A HARD CONCEPT RIGHT NOW
i'm drunk and confused. there might be a 4 year old here.
Nothing like a Mormon bachlorette party to make you feel slutty
You opened a bottle of wine with a shoe and a wall last night.
you took my bottle from me saying i was unprepared for its magical qualities. then you buckled it in the backseat.
I think I'm goin to jail but either way I had a blast.
his basement wasnt heated so when i asked for a hoodie someone gave me a kimono.. i passed bc who the fuck knows where that shit has been recently
I can't take my grandparents out somewhere where I've fucked half the staff.
And as the acid sets in, he looks back at the shallow form he used to call his and whispers "3 pee pees strong"
Sorry for trying to baptize you last night
You knew the entire thing in Latin I was so impressed
How in the fuck did you get LIVE MOTHER FUCKING BATS!?!?! Into my ROOM last night????
Randomize
