We just all danced like dinosaurs in the center of the dance floor.
Don't tits with veins remind you of road maps?
On a scale of 1 to 10 how hot is the girl you're about to fuck?
Strong 6
That's an oxymoron.
well hello there hangover. fancy meeting you here on this BRIGHT thursday morning.
Were making a bet for which twin will relapse while in rehab. I'm going for the chubbier one
having my hair in braids makes puking so easy. i am being an indian every halloween
We need to get sombreros so I can give them to strippers.
Its like "fucckkkkk yooouuuuuu" is echoing up my esophagus
tequila?
yep
This guy just told me he wanted to bathe in bong water with me and then tried to lick my nipple through my bra. This could be love.
Finals week...the biggest cock block since your brother threatened me with a beer bottle at the bar.
I was trying to be quiet until started to feel like my cock was being dipped in a rainbow and then I stopped caring temporarily
You were so drunk last night you thought you force pushed the automatic door open.
I found a half composed text to you this morning and all it said was HELP M. Is that how I ended up at the bottom of the stairwell in only a tee-shirt and one heel?
considering I never received the text I would go with 'yes'.
There's glitter all over his bed from my Pink VS panties... I think I might invest in similar styles as a way of marking my territory just incase.
I told you that you couldn’t eat fifty tacos, you slapped me in the face, ate seventeen tacos, and fell asleep on my floor
Randomize
