she danced around my room naked waving around the gold trojan magnum condoms singing "i have the golden ticket."
little did she know i was taping her the whole time.
well now i know if i ever need to drive puke and talk on the phone at the same time i can
Because its an amazing idea and you're the only one I can think of that will allow a pirate threesome
when she asked where we met, i said the liquor store. the next words out of moms mouth? 'oh that's real promising molly'
Just caught my first cougar this fake was worth every fucking penny.
I want to bury your face in my vagina. Possibly by force. I will try not to suffocate you though.
he asked me to "shake his dick" when he introduced himself, playing naked football with you in our living room. $100 says you two get married one day.
I keep confusing the name of her and her dog. Both are appropriate.
Shirtless guy staggering down the sidewalk, puking into a Prada shopping bag. Ahhh, the walk of shame in Boystown.
Don't matter if she's straight, I'll get her. I'm not called The Transformer for nothing
Should I be flattered that she mumbled "You're the king of my face" before passing out?
I was gonna jerk off, but then I thought about that movie last night and it killed that idea. I have serious boner trauma.
I WANT BLOOD. HERS. I WILL DYE A FABULOUS PAIR OF SUEDE PUMPS RED WITH HER BLOOD.
Don't come back. They don't have pants.
Oh god.
God has nothing to do with this.
Dude I just woke up with a dog sleeping on me.
I thought you didnt have a dog??
Exactly.
Randomize
