Last-second stop at the drug store for lube and condoms. Clerk said "So uhmmm...that's a done deal, huh?"
High five!
She just used a turkey baster to transfer alcohol from the glass to the bottle. Just thought you should know
Just used a champagne bottle to outline a trigonometric circle for math 104.. should i give up on life now or later?
My male hookup buddy is gonna meet my female hookup buddy, let the awkward hookup games begin!
We sold so many girl scout cookies when we were little. What went wrong?
as she was beating the hell out of his ex, she screamed prison rules, and smashed her head with a beer bottle. I'm oddly afraid yet so attracted to her now.
Just found out my 21st birthday is on a Wednesday. The possibilities are cheap, as well as endless.
You act as if I'm the first person to pee in the Taco Bell drive thru at 2 AM, I'm sure a lot worse things have happen in that drive thru than my urine.
Your stories are the best. I feel like you're a spy among the heteros. It's not fair.
I'm not letting you use my bathroom unsupervised anymore. You peed in the sink thinking it was a urinal...
You were silly, high, and chewing on things.
You drunk? Cause I have a terrible idea...
I think I may be going on too many job interviews. I've started to bring up Shonda Rhimes in my interview answers.
Come on, what straight woman, gay man, or bi person HASN'T scrolled through Justin Trudeau pictures after a bad day?
Maid of honor screwed up the joke so I just got to explain what a strap on is and why a married lady might want one to Grandma and my brother's wedding shower.
Randomize
