I am not sure how to feel about the fact that I was turned on by someone with a penis. I can't believe Lady Gaga would do this to me. :(
I'm drinking keystone with a homeless man I found. It's making me feel uncomfortable.
She referred to her collection of sex toys as an "arsenal." I'm not sure whether to be scared or excited....
hey, this is the drunk ass freshman from last night. thanks alot for helping me out last night, i'd probably be on some lawn if it wasn't for you guys! and my mom says thanks for talking to her
thanks for carrying me to bed.. and sorry for trying to roll down the hallway to escape.
I wiped my mouth this morning with a pine tree branch after I threw up on the side of the road. Tis the season
Why have her stay eight hours when I only last eight minutes?
I need to shower, but I have no shower curtain... I think I can get by with a whore bath and a hat for one more day.
Someone had Captain Morgan and orange juice at the same moment I lost my hangover and I just had to give it a try.
I want to get "Patrick Kane" wasted tonight
I am one hundred percent down for that
we were making out in my truck and while she was straddling me she informs me that she jerks off horses for a living. Should I be concerned or flattered?
Bought a gym bag tonight. Used it to bring my Taco Bell in the house.
got a free grilled cheese. Didn't even have to talk about Jesus
As your friend, I promise I will drink a full bottle of vodka and belly slide down the stairs with you if that test is positive
I'm pretty sure I regained my virginity last night
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