He just spent five minutes trying to sling shot a cheese-it off his dick and into my mouth.
He went so fast i didnt even have time to pretend like i was about to have a fake orgasim
Why does Corona taste like a burp?
I just puked in my fish tank. Helloooooo summer.
Second night spent with creepy guy. I either need to change his nickname or stop doing this.
Let's just say a refrigerator got involved and after that I had to send him home.
It made me think of you cause he just screamed "CAPTAIN PLANET" a lot and kicked people in the balls.
So, I'm drinking, and I put my head down in the table. The cat jumped up to check on me, I have a cat sober monitor.
you puked in the bathtub and said "let them pee"
We made out a little and then he gave me some weed. I would say it was a pretty productive stop on my way home
Pro: Drunk Portland Strip Club. Con: Monday morning hangover at work. Pro: boobs. Con: Sleep deprivation. The Pro's are winning.
I would agree. Add some coffee to the booze. It will cut down on sleep deprivation.
Eredayimstrugglin ..Can we talk about the fact that I just typed "er" and it autocorrected to that. Fuck my life.
Then. Omg he showed me A CARD TRICK AFTER WE CAME
Tell me why I woke up outside of our hotel room Wearing a cowboy hat and boots in Las Vegas.
hi I'm Emily and I thoroughly enjoy getting minors hammered.. I'll start my AA intro just like that.
Randomize
