I don't think your that much of a whore. your like a whore-let. a mini whore.
If I could pick any std, I would pick genital herpes. Seriously. Have you seen the commercials? The lady is riding a fucking bike, swimming, and on a date. I have a perfectly fine vag and all I do is go to the library.
i've been throwing up a lot lately. my guess is hangover but who knows morning sickness is always an option
I remember asking you "need some dick tonite?"
Yeah I guess to me frat party equals penis party. oh the wonders of vodka.
I felt weird they were both staring at me waiting for the scoop on how your vagina felt.
It's sore actually
Just farted cum and thought I shit myself. Crisis averted tho
I'm more picky about my flip flops than the guys I sleep with
Dont judge me. He may have been ugly but he was INCREDIBLE. He's like the Susan Boyle of sex.
It's not my fault. Someone keeps buying me tequila shots. Idk who. But every time I look down there's another. I think there's a conspiracy.
we used the fire extinguisher you had been cuddling with to decorate the cop car while they were inside arresting everyone
Do you know what your brother wants for his birthday?
Yeah he said he wants a decent blowjob for a change.
.......
I'm just looking out for you.
the most romantic thing he could do for me right now would be to throw himself into traffic
This late night dumpster diving sesh is making my quads cramp up
He started saying the pledge of allegiance so his boner would go down. Merica.
Pretty much all i've had today is sugar and orgasms
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