This girl is more easily done than said...
her vagina looked like a handful of raisins.
If you get a breast reduction, you have to let me see them before hand at least once. It's a rule.
Is waterboarding an exceptable way of getting sober?
My roommate's all sad and is crying and the chick I want to bang is in the room and Nic Cage is on fire. What the fuck.
you inspire me to be a worse person
I tried to show my boob for free volcano tacos at taco bell last night. Not boobs. Just boob. The manager wasn't allowing it.
I just wanna lay in my bed all bundled up as have someone feed me lettuce
I AM THERE IN SPIRIT, TICKLING YOUR BALLS
Just used my front-facing camera to check my pupils. Technology!
Cassie is wearing a baseball cap. This rebound is going nowhere
When you put the phrases "just out of shower" and "did you get the picture" that close together, a picture of hamburger helper is not exactly what I expected to pop up.
come over. We can flirt with the criteria for substance abuse and talk about our daddy issues
...Just hit my fuck buddy with my car.
your marriage is hazardous to my nightlife
yea, mine too.
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