Betty ford says i'm here all night
my ass just sighed. even my farts are tired.
Wasted at the beach. Toasting underage, overdeveloped girls. God bless 'em.
I just fucked 3 marines at the same time...how did you celebrate veterans day?
Every once in a while you'd chuckle to yourself, and when I asked you what's so funny u replied "sometimes my toes tickle eachother"
Remember when there was a happier time when people could all hang out together with out the awkwardness of the fact that she stole $1000 and cheated on a brother with another brother !?!??
I've already made the "blackout on move in day" decision
nothing like going to the bathroom, running into the wall, thinking its a person and saying"its ok i just had the 4 beers" even the wall knew i was lying
2012 needs to end already. I've exceeded my quota for People Who Have Accidentally Seen My Tits.
Whenever I think to myself, "I don't work for a bunch of hours"... It's shot time?
I've now fucked in every motel room in this small town.
We were supposed fuck one time, but ended up fucking for 2 years.
I need to stop getting so drunk at bowling
maybe i should limp back to therapy...
oh yeah will you also bring home vodka i wanna do shots on the roof
He's hot, clean, can actually cook, and best of all isn't a narcissistic prick. I found a unicorn.
Ride that fucker.
Randomize
