Spring semester is just not the same w/o you
my mom just informed me that i masturbate loudly
well hello there hangover. fancy meeting you here on this BRIGHT thursday morning.
Puked in my laptop case in the middle of my nutrition class.
I always figured rock bottom would've involved more hookers
i just saw you make out with a girl with facial hair...just thought i would document that in case you forgot
Went home drunk last night and peed on my Christmas tree, my mothers going to fucking kill me
I'm at this kids house trying to figure out if I pissed in his kitchen new years eve. Lmao, stop letting me drink.
No one should ever have to Neosporin their nipples. At least he apologized.
I'm just gonna eat nachos and wine fruit forever.
"Masturbate" is an actual item on an actual ToDo list of mine. It is at the top.
On her way to bed she said, "If you have sex on the couch, just move my blanket" Needles to say, we moved the blanket
did you just try to prove your straightness by quoting a lady gaga song?
He’s older
Like “has a job and pays his bills” older or “still watches porn on DVD because he can’t figure out the Internet” older?
Dude... this pee is not alleged
YOU SAT ON MY LAP!
Wuddup pee lap
Randomize
