Are you kidding me. My sex life has diminshed to having wet dreams about jerking off.
For the millionth time in his career, Brett Favre has screwed over the Vikings
the entire lecture hall sighed when the prof announced that there will be an exam on 4/20
woke up at my desk with a paper in front of me that says "people stranded on islands love having wet dreams" what the fuck happened last night
The glockenspiel player has some booze though so hopefully the ride won't be that bad
after giving each other head, we had a really nice post-oral heart to heart. found out he lost his virginity in a threesome.
Well i have to fuck at least one of your roommates this year to keep the tradition alive.
in my drunkeness I still was able to plan for the morning. I duck taped my keys, a water bottle full of mimosa and my cell phone to the front door.
Though my hair looks fantastic i will unfortunately have to turn down your 4am sex offer
Can we pretty pretty please go to Mardi Gras tomorrow? I promise I'll be a good girl and not puke in a pledges car
I'll truly miss your penis but your use of words and phrases such as bae, yolo, swag, and totes have ruined how attractive you once were.
Do you own a cuff key and know where Karen lives?
My ex is having a baby and I'm over here planning my dogs birthday celebration...
When is the party?
Now it's a thing. He's kind of a creeper and now he's lotioning me. This is going to turn into a Buffalo Bull situation.
IT'S LIKE LOOKING INTO GOD'S VAGINA!!!!
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