Turns out drinking large amounts of Gentleman Jack does NOT turn you into a Gentleman -- quite the opposite actually.
it was really awkward, he kept trying to get on the bed with us and we kept having to kick him back on the floor.
or how I got to mom's but there is vomit on my shoes. I never thought i'd be recapping with her.
The vagina on Hilton Head is mighty fine this time of year.
the lady at the gas station just thanked me for wearing clothes this time... i am so confused
And I can taste the vodka through my ears. Good god.
you know I love you but I need to see your friends tits
I feel like death gave me a hand job
Nope if you can't be there for me emotionally, then my vagina can't be there for you physically. That's my rule.
Day drinking straight vodka out of a Mountain Dew can being towed behind a kayak on a raft. And no, there is no time difference, it really is 10 am.
Laying in bed nude eating a Big Mac with a cat. It's gonna be a good year.
I don't know whether to laugh it off or be pissed at him..I got pulled over this morning leaving his place and the officer thought my hickeys were hand prints around my neck and asked if I needed to be escorted out of town.
IM HUNGOVER AT MOTHERS DAY BRUNCH AND A NUN FROM CHURCH JOINED US
Doesn't matter if you work at a funeral home. If the boss says get a keg, you get a keg.
I’m going to have to rewatch all of them. Drugs, man.
Randomize
