I thinking of taking all of the pics of his dick that he's sent me and making a calendar.
i watched you ride a mechanical penis. nothing is awkward between us anymore.
the scent of your tears make me crave pizza
I snorted a few ambien and woke up here. A lady banged on our door, waking us up, demanding our towels.
the bruises from climbing out of the window last night make sitting at my desk impossible. legit excuse to not study right?
At least I'm fat on the outside. You can NEVER change being fat on the inside.
He wants to buy me a drink to apologize for sending me a pic of his dick. Welcome to my life.
Think of something healthy and responsible. Now think of the exact opposite, let's do the latter
when I woke up, he was drunk and singing "soft kitty" and petting my face
He peed off the roof and then we bonded it was beautiful
I went up by the border of Canada. We took shrooms and went fishing...pretty sure we killed a dragon and ate it for dinner
This dudes playing guitar and singing outside our window and he's like "ravioli is beterrrrrrr than tortelliniIii cause tortelliniiii is shaped like fucking ears"
I'm glad we smoked together,that was probs the biggest sibling bonding we will ever have.
Last night I drank three beers and threw up in a tree house. I am ashamed.
Double high-fived his wife and her sister on the way out. If I'm not the best mistress ever tell me how.
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