i kept drunkenly begging people i met to be in my facebook mafia
While he was going down his phone rang and he answered saying I'll call you later I'm eating.
there are ass prints on the hood of my car.
Freshman Move In Day, its like Christmas in August.
Dude, how the hell did you become an RA?
The last thing I remember is feeding country fried steak to my best friend in a bubble bath with my bare hands.
My younger brother just got high fives from all my guy cousins for fucking my best friend. I hate family gatherings.
she had a dildo shaped like a dolphin. she will forever be known as Flipper
WHY ARE THERE SO MANY BURPS IN MY SMALL, INCREDIBLY ATTRACTIVE BODY
Yeah, this is not that. This is a father and son bonding moment involving my all of my orifices.
I can still taste the Jäger. I'm gonna shoot myself.
Vodka, rum, moonshine, I don't care, just bring like 5gallons.
That's why i need nudes. Plutonic nudes.
And speaking of good acting I may have a sex tape now
Never joke about your clitoris.
Can you dump a guy for having pierced nipples or is that shallow?
Randomize
