a mothers knocking is a guaranteed boner softener
tequila makes my crab dance SOOOO much better
the liability waiver did not state that i couldn't bring my bottle of wine in the bouncy castle. it did Not.
Why the hell does jager make you get to the point of having to army crawl around cause you cant feel your legs and scream jaga bombs when puking??
My dad just knocked on my door and told me that my vibrator was too loud
im contemplating emailing my dad and telling him how worthless i am and how sorry i am that he pays for my life...aka my bar tabs.
She's like the pied piper of lesbians.
Can you give me a hickey quick? Im going to a white trash themed party. Completely serious
There was a bottle of vodka and chips in a vase next to the bed
stumbled upon a picture of an owl staring me in the face. i almost offered him a bong hit.
My only expectation is honesty. And three orgasms every time.
I'm 50% weirded out and 50% into it
I just licked a piece of cheese off my phone screen if that makes you feel any better
I want to be a supportive friend to her, but I also want to sleep with her ex now that he's single.
His face will be in my vagina later so I'm willing to forgive.
Randomize
