I jusy said out loud "gingers unite in the middle of the night"
He took the lighter and said "this is how I give myself a bikini wax."
they came at us with fireworks while we were skinny dipping in her jacuzzi at 4 am...
Will you please bring me a line of coke at work without asking questions?
I drove your lawn mower home. Hope you don't need it tonight. I'll bring it over tomorrow.
I have to bobbypin his pubes for us to have sex. The other day he wanted me to braid them.
It's my vagina- remember its magical and yes I just did mini spirit fingers
Remember when puke and rally meant a good time? Fuck pregnancy
Right now, there's some ten year old kid getting ready to go outside and play basketball. He will soon find out his basketball hoop was no match for my car.
Swish.
You might have to deal with a coked up ex pan American gold medalist wrestler when you get back to the room
He wanted to watch the vow, cuddle, and not have sex. An upgrade is in order.
she came into my car to rip lines with our blow dealer as I was writing my essay on anti drug policy, i call it on site research
I need a pedicure
You need to go to planned parenthood
Is it weird that I'm smoking a cig on my back patio in a sports bra and underwear?
Even if they did assume we were doing kinky shit, it's not like they're gonna be like, "HALT SATAN! INTAKE SOME JESUS AND VOMIT YOUR SINS!"
Randomize
