When he was fingering me, it felt/looked like he was digging around for pocket change.
Clearly I made an impression.
Or at least your vagina did.
He dated me before I started drinking. I feel like he deserves a consolation bj for all the effort he had to put in to get in my pants.
She had to leave early so she could get ready for her high school's homecoming. I hope her date likes sloppy seconds.
She's more of a "I'm gonna get herpes no matter how great her face looks like" pretty
I guess I'll put a green shirt on. Also, I just snorted some protein shake power. That doesn't have anything to do with St. Patrick's Day. I just wanted you to know in case i die.
Partial kegs from last night are currently in my bathtub, which leads me to 2 questions: 1. What are you doing tonight? 2. Can I use your shower?
Come on Nikki god gave you a vagina for a reason, so you could tell guys what kind of shots to buy you
I just used cruise control in a 25 zone. When will this hangover end???
The walls are thin & apartments are narrow so all the bedrooms are next to each other. Our complex could compete in synchronized orgasms.
This is going to ruin my future wedding planner career, but isn't it better the groom knows he's gay BEFORE he gets married?
Once again I am on the toilet and refuse to get up
What a great time to reflect on life
dude i'm so hungover my hair hurts
You shall now refer to my vagina as patty and patty only
I like how I can go from sucking dick in the my basement to singing along to veggie tales with my family in a span of 10 minutes.
Randomize
