we're talking about where were going. or where we stand. but yeah we'll basically be doing it in the hallway so just ignore us
worst morning ever. completed my walk of shame home to find my parents, grandma, and priest had come down to surprise me on my birthday. now i'm in the car with them to go get my car from the bar.
Well this lady at the bar told me I was a natural on the tambourine and that it was my God given talent. and then she gave me a tambourine.
When we asked you how you got there you replied in all seriousness, "rode my legs"
Only you could walk of shame to a childrens pirate themed birthday party
Did I change midway through last night?
Seven times. The most notable outfits were UFC Fighter and Top Hat Viking
I woke up to you singing What Makes You Beautiful and trying to blend an avocado with vodka.
I woke up half naked on the floor next to his bed, and his cat was staring at me like it had seen everything that i myself don't remember..
Have you ever come so hard that right after you have the urge to yell "make me a sandwich!"? ...I think my ovaries turned into testicles.
I woke up to my bra draped over his lamp and a huge bump on my head. apparently, I face planted while having sex in the shower..
Just found out I made out with the 40 year old Captain of the boat at the barge party. On the bright side he let me drive the boat so at least there's that.
a guy offered me a piece of pizza if I'd make out with a random girl. We got the whole damn box and I ain't even mad
I also need to get my life together but instead I just eat spoonfuls of Nutella. We can't win 'em all
Also my roomate used some of my condoms so she gave me her hummus. Great trade
I think i got beer on your cat.
Randomize
