how do you have sooo much energy?
billy mays threw in a lil somethin extra when i ordered some oxiclean last week
three words: i give head
three words: not that well
I never thought I'd hear the words "aww you pulled out" and "you're so sweet" in the same sentence.
Just used my last prints at the library for brackets instead of final reviews. Hello March.
his mom called while we were having sex and asked if we could finish in his brothers room because her ceiling fan was about to fall on her bed
The last memory I have is vomiting into a box and her rubbing my back saying "you are such a trooper..."
I will not ride trays down a flight of stairs topless and drunk....
Just remembered seeing jalepenos in my vomit last night. Reminded me to thank you for sharing your queso with me. You're a good friend.
She had forties taped to her hands and was trying to give him a hand job while he was passed out, with everyone in the living room.
I went limp when I heard her mom fart from her parents bedroom. It lasted longer than my hard on.
Today I'm playing this game called how physically long can I Lay in this one spot before moving, do you have an estimated time of departure?
Opened the apartment door and the smell of sex and weed literally slapped me across the face. Kudos.
I found your dog. Now we are bros, so he is staying. Don't call, don't make it weird.
It involves me, my best friend, and a stripper and her mother.
I wasn't talking about him I meant his penis! Its not a pet
Oh. Well it should be. I like petting it.
Randomize
