Just donated money to a kid for her softball team.
Obviously I'm trying to futher our next generation of lesbians. I may be hitting on her at the gay bar in ten years...
there's something so ridiculous to me about watching someone with glasses exercising. it's like watching a whore studying in the library. stop trying to be someone you're not.
you didnt know i had herpes?
I really couldn't tell if she was disgusted with the fact that I yacked on her shoes, or if she was about to do the same to me.
i knew you were okay when you wanted to eat in the ambulance
I just took a shower and I feel like 20 pounds of sex just came off of me.
My kindergarten teacher served me... All coming full circle
I think that last shot was nyquil. Please come gte me. WINGS.
Have you ever chugged beers in the hospital parking garage with your mom?
Would you wanna look up as you cum and for a split-second see your dad?
I was having the most awesome dream about onion rings and you hit me and told me to stop touching you...WTF?
Every time you visit for the weekend I end up having to bleach my entire house after.
Let's fuck under the stars. And by under the stars I mean in my bed underneath my glow in the dark star stickers.
I can't get the smell of burned penis out of the house
WHY IS SHE PANDERING YOU, A SIMPLE GOBLIN, TINY WEENER PICTURES OVER STATE LINES
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