Hi
Babe...You're really smothering me right now
I can totally hide my daquiri in my sling.
Just scheduled a cocaine deal around my drug counsler appointment. Why yes, thank you, I do enjoy the irony that is my life.
woke up in a garbage bag. literally. it was used as a sleeping bag.
So excited for tonight I might actually pee my pants BEFORE I get blackout
No way. Our relationship is based solely on texting and sex. A phone call would be too much at this point.
Kill yourself wednesday started off with a bang, and im pretty sure im still drunk from tequila tuesday.
You are so lucky you didn't go back to Tate's house. They decided to figure out who had the biggest balls... I was the judge
No I just rolled on the floor giggling. I think that's the equivalent to a post sex victory dance.
Also, you need to stop getting hammered and taking showers with people.
Having to crawl on my hands and knees because I woke up with a mysterious broken foot this morning...
Bro you were on fire last night...like a less Irish version of Liam Neeson
If you're with any of them tell them i apologize for (insert whatever i did here)
Its 7am I'm awake still drunk, there is food, random clothing and road cone in my room. I can't decide if this is a failure or a success???
Is there a way to use porn to inspire him to have dirty thoughts? Like the movie Inception except with more lube and orgams?
Randomize
