The human being growing inside of her was a mistake. Lets just hope the boyfriend isn't.
I passed out in the cab. Woke up to the cabby yelling SIR SIR WE ARE AT THE TRAIN STATION!! SIRRRR!!
She was sleeping without a shirt so I thought I wouldI sneaked a peek at her nipples..than I realized they were just warts...on her back.
So...AT&T finally added picture messaging for iPhone...bring on the tits!!!
about to play the homeward bound drinking game. alone. what are you doing tonight?
i went to go through my sent box of drunk texts from last night and they were all deleted... i'm going to assume drunk me made the executive decision that sober me would be better off not knowing what they said
my history teacher totally just suggested that we record his lectures and play drinking games with them later so that we pay attention to the material.
so, are you laying bloody on campus somewhere or did you go out after class and forget to let me know?
bloody. ill be home soon.
I was just counting ceiling tiles when he ate me out, it was that bad.
He thinks that since we have been dating six months, that he can do the helicopter with his penis. Not okay.
She went dumpster diving. Found flourescent light bulbs, carpet samples and $15. We got a bottle of Popov, played star wars and threatened random people with the carpet. Get on our level.
Also yeah I would definitely have to say that one of my favorite things to do is to get high and pet cats.
So, I'm playing the Doctor Who drinking game with my dogs, but they don't understand quite when to drink. Still counts as successful, though, right?
When your boyfriends ex-girlfriend texts you to see what you're wearing to his sister's wedding that you were not invited to, nor knew about. I think it's time to call it quits.
It's OK, I woke up in a drag queen's bed last weekend. It took me forever to get the glitter out of my cleavage.
Randomize
