if being creepy is wrong, then i don't want to be right
i just masturbated with purell and my dick burns and smells like a hospital
During the middle of giving him head, he flashes his phone and says "I like to watch."
Would you like me to write a persuasive essay on how you should let me suck your dick?
Who is this?
You offered to lift up your dress at the bar so I could see your lower back tattoo
Um, I think that was a general offer to everyone. So...who IS this?
She slapped his drink out of his hand to get him to leave the bar while he and I were having an intense debate about the lyrics to mmmbop
He has a lot of emotional energy invested in your vagina.
Ugh contemplating vodka and chocolate protein powder as this Capri sun and vodka isn't really cutting it
You ninja crawled over five sleeping guys to get in my room at 6 in the morning to wake me up for sex
...and I think that may just be my favorite moment in our fuckbuddyship
I have bruises from doing the splits on the poles, if that doesn't scream bourbon street regret then I don't know what does
He just ranted to some customer about fourth of July being ruined and I just shouted USA the whole time in the background. It was kinda epic
From what I heard you ordered him to lick your balls. Unless you've kept a huge secret I understand his confusion.
Doing a small happy dance cause my cocaine successfully went through airport security
it'll be like a game of Russian Roulette, but with my vagina.
I have one goal now that I am in the USA. To find a man I can fuck into marriage before my visa runs out.
Randomize
