Dub. In the bra. Dub in the bra.
i have the same doorman on the day shift as the guyi shacked with has on the night shift. he just laughed at me when i came home this AM. FML
you were the other women for BOTH people in the relationship?
just woke up to two already rolled blunts and a full explanation of what happened last night. I love my gf
his dog just threw up on me too. its like im a throwup magnet to that family.
I walked in on him shirtless licking the mirror while talking to his reflection. So yes, I definitely want to do shrooms the next time you get them.
While I was dancing with him in my foil dress he said, "You're like a Chipotle burrito. Don't worry, that's the best complement you could get from me."
Drunkenly found an error on my bar tab last night. THANK YOU ACCOUNTING.
Like. There is beer on the other side of that door and 6 yards in. If he's not back in 20 minutes to let me in, I am using this tree as a battering ram.
Like that time I held Annie up and she peed all over the window.. We make a good team.
Are you high right now?
is that a question or a drake reference?
I think I'll handle my grief by throwing myself headlong into lesbianism. Seems like a fitting tribute to you.
You blacked out at 9:30 and insisted on sleeping in the hallway after you chugged an entire pitcher of beer. I guess the Jell-O shots were stronger than we thought...
I just used my vibrator to scratch my back. This being single shit is for the birds
Okay so my roommate deals some drugs so whenever he leaves we can hook up, be ready
I didn't know I was the on call booty call damn
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