Slugs feel like vagina... thought you would want to know
He said to me this morning that we should finish these beers, go and get plan B then on the way back, go to the pub to celebrate the death of our baby. I love Manchester.
I guess I tried to show you how big my closet was and we ended up eating pickles in my bathroom
my goal was to make out with as many people dressed as batman as possible. I have my priorities.
I think that the jello shots in bowls is where it all went wrong.
Even though he was watching you pee on his bedroom floor, you kept denying it and saying he was dreaming
Eye surgery went well. Just can't believe it took getting lasers through my eyes to temporarily stop the vivid sex dreams I was having
I didn't ask to see his penis, it was an ambush. Impressive though
Is that a polar bear? You seriously grinded with a polar bear at the club?
I think I may be the only girl in the world that can say she has fallen asleep grasping a penis..... 3 different times...... 3 different penises
.It's like gods test of willpower against vaginal comfort
Didn't know where your dishes went. Put em in the bathtub. They're stacked taller than you. It's like modern art.
So was this before or after he cried about trump?
After
You are a genius and a whore.
Dude i woke up today by a pile of fried chicken and wearing a bra
.......stop going to frat parties....
Randomize
