I figure if he loans me money i only owe him sex for the rest of the summer before i pay him back, right?
Chris' response to jim throwing up was taking off his shirt and saying WHO WANTS A BONER
sorry i walked in and ruined it, but i had to laugh she looked like a pile of bologna the way you had her pinned up on the wall
halloween makes it hard to decipher real cops... from sexy men dressed up as them.
her roommate was in the bathroom for over an hour so i volunteered to take the dog out and i shit in the bushes
What type of outfit says "I know you slept with my boyfriend before and are also way skinnier than me, but I look better...somehow"
What happened to "I wouldnt even touch her with a ten foot pole"?
Her vagina devoured it.
We hooked up. It felt slightly wrong considering he is my foreign exchange student but there's a reason America imports. Foreigners got the goods.
lets talk about you, dubstep, and a bunny suit.
You puked on the bar then proceeded to walk out. I told the bartender some girl walked up, puked and left and he gave me a free drink. Hope you got home safe.
At one point we were both in the bathroom and i was taking a shit while holding your hair as you puked in the sink. Friendship.
I thought i was doing pretty well but I walked into my first class and everyone on my side of the room immediately asked how drunk and high I was
All I remember is you shouting "THIS KID IS A FREAKIN' NINJA!!" when he dive rolled over a barbed wire fence and proceeded to ask for his 18th beer.
so i fell out of a tree on the ave last night. someone told me there was alcohol at the top. bastards.
Yeah. I got a Tetnus shot then partied like it was 1999.
Randomize
