i'm so hungover...i might vomit in a handbag instead of selling them
Ill do this for you.
You are a team player.
This is me making up for not putting my tongue inside you more.
You hooked up with 4 random girls, avoided your grilfriend finding out about it, and dodged traffic on Park Ave. Can you say luck of the Irish?
I just watched a video of Justin Bieber kissing a girl..... the sad thing is that I actually got upset.
it's official, i know exactly what cross streets we're at by the bumps when i give him road head
I couldn't tell you were laughing too hard
Dude I thought I set my hair on fire. I wasn't laughing I was screaming.
I LOVE YOU NO MATTER HOW MANY BALLS YOUVE SUCKED
can i bring anything?
Any of the following: Sex doll, side dish, fruits/vegetables that look like dildos, beer
is there a theme i should know about?
Pro: She likes to masturbate to 50 shades of grey. Con: She reads 50 Shades of grey non-ironically.
Remind me to talk to you about nipple clamps.
Jungle juice breakfast? No? Ok.
Dude you were so wasted you thought a fake electric candle was real and tried to light your cig with it. Multiple times.
I want to be her friend more than I want to fuck her boyfriend.
Dear Douchebag, I would just like to formally issue this fuck you. You will be receiving a letter in the mail soon. With all of your stuff.
I woke up using a beer can as a pillow. successful party?
Randomize
