So it's 11:24am. I've had sex twice and been laid 3 times. I love holidays!
I understand the whole sex thing but did you really get laid or is that synonymous for more alcohol?????
Honestly.
Don't say a word.
My mind says no, but my body says yes.
What does your body say about chlamydia?
I've rolled joints bigger than that penis.
i love rice pilaf. whoever invented that i would give them a hug.
Is it too weird if im a sexy tampon for halloween?
what part of "i slept with our hot teacher" are you not excited about?!
the part where you beat me to him
fair enough.
He just walked into my room in a robe with a cooking pot of cereal.
Lots of alcohol. 3rd graders fuck me now.
Auto correct or actual 3rd graders?
I said you have to fuck the german guy and take one for the team...it's a once in a lifetime opportunity you know.
door buzzer is fixed. took shots with Latvian electrician to celebrate. nice guy. he is gonna bring mixers next time cuz kombucha didn't really cut it for him.
Just wait til you visit, there will be an endless supply of fresh dick for your demand #economics
So the " I'm gay but curious" thing worked. You owe me 50 bucks.
I'm covered in glow paint and I can't find my shirt. So, successful night
We almost ended up sober because of u!!
I made him cum so hard he couldn't play video games for like an hour. I've never been more proud of myself.
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