the third sister isn't as attractive as the other two but I will do her anyway to finally pull off the fabled family hat trick.
Get out of your relationship and into my pants.
i can barely afford taco bell don't think a baby is in the budget
It was either a cute kinda butch tomgirl or a really fem guy. Either way, I made out with it. Bisexuality, my best friend.
When She took off her bra.... A tube of lipgloss, her phone, I.D. And a wad of twenties fell out.... I'm officially no longer a butt man
I found an HIV test/information brochure on the kitchen table and what i can only assume to be an "I'm sorry you might have AIDS" gift bag, complete with a candle and popcorn, and I haven't seen you in 36 hours. You good?
seeing two freshman taking a cab home at noon on a Monday makes me realize how much worse my life choices could have been
She just texted me that she's horny, then started quoted random music, then telling me everything she regrets. I don't think there's enough tequila in the world for me to deal with her...
When she asked why I felt bad I said that it may have had something to do with the gin and cold pizza I had for breakfast.... And then I reflected on what my life has become.
Well the other day she asked me how often I jerk off. So I guess things are getting semi-serious
I just went on etsy and my personalized suggestions on the page were either kinky sex restraints or baby things. I feel like etsy just summarized my life.
I have bruises all over my legs. Did I hit a car with my bike last night?
It's okay. I think we're back on. I just went on a dog walk with him n blew him on a sidewalk
I am talking to a naked lesbian about robots. I think this means I win life.
She just texted me saying "come over and eat me out, my vagina smells like honey glazed ham." I know I shouldn't be, but i'm just so curious.
Randomize
