sorry I missed your bday party.,I was vid chatting with that new guy I'm talking to all night...happy biirthday though
Obama just said the words "we're all in this together." I wanted to start singing high school musical
You remember that guy Joey? The pastors son that plays Jesus every year?
Yeah?
Stuck it in his pooper.
If we were unicorns we would fly together. Like in a pack. A pack of flying unicorns.
once i realized i was actively trying to drink the beer i was sweating out of my body i knew it was time to go to bed
I don't really see how asking you not to cum on my face or hair makes me high maintenance
Hey couldn't find water bottle to put margs in whole bottle in purse gonna stop and get cups and ice from starbucks and burrito from una mas want a quesadilla
definitely fulfilled the lesbian status quo and fucked her in the back seat of my prius
Sounds good. I will just get tanked here and wear this batman mask.
So apparently I was a completely different person lastnight, one who drinks scotch and makes out with 55 year old men who look like inspector gadget
Being the hot sister definately has advantages, I'm pretty sure I ruined her engagement
Betting for two different teams with two different guys is the best. Time to get $100 by one guy and laid by the other!
I'm six Popsicles away from an existential breakdown.
Definitely ended up doing Coke with Chewbacca in the porta potty behind the haunted house.
I love how fuckboys immediately become cultured when I tell them I’m an artist.
Randomize
