The best was having to tell my 16y/o cuz and her bf that we could see him fingering her in the inner tube. Lucky for them, I'm the cool cousin... and was river-level fuckedup.
Nah it's cool, I made him pinky promise me he wouldn't die if I left him passed out in the bathroom.
congratulations to me i think I am on the road to legitimate alcoholism
cool. same. I'm in class drinking
NOT OKAY
sorry for partying
THATS NOT PARTYING THATS DRINKING IN CLASS
So I love how we keep introducing our friends to sex toys. It's like pay it forward vibrator edition.
he has decreed that i can sleep with anyone who has the same name as him. line up all the toms
If I can't get slightly excited by the thought of his face between my legs then I know I can never sleep with him.
Nope if you can't be there for me emotionally, then my vagina can't be there for you physically. That's my rule.
I found him on the floor in the kitchen eating cheese and tomato. I mean a block of cheese and whole tomatoes, he was alternating. Thats why your cheese has teeth marks.
Invited the whole bar back to my place for an after party.....shit got real with everyone seeing dad drink moonshine like a champ.
i wish i could tell my students that all of their lessons plans were brought to them by captain morgan and diet coke. it's like seasame street, only for high schoolers being taught by a student teacher.
Ted is on HBO in 20 minutes...not sure if this or the drunken dance party I had at the bar to a N*SYNC Christmas song 20 minutes ago is the highlight of my week so far.
He sent me a selfie with his cat. He has found a way to my heart. And pants.
Is 28 too old to get fingered in Centennial Park? Asking for a friend.
You just missed an honest to god bukkake
Last night I realized my life is an experiment of really bad decisions when I had to leave without my underwear. But at least I'm expanding my life experience.
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