what ever happened to devon sawa?
fuck...who knows?
i'm really worried about him.
i've been thru my totinos phase. then after reading the ingredients and nutritional info i almost puked in my mouth. its like having the bastard child of pizza hut and mcdonalds invade your kitchen and start stabbing your digestive system.
All the alcohol I spilled on myself must have acted as a disinfectant or something. I haven't showered in three days and I still don't have a staph infection from sleeping on the lawn with you.
no, that was the night I slathered your dick in the icing from my birthday cake
Why can't it ever be the normal ones that stalk me?
It was the best present I've gotten since I was 5 and I got a fucking easy bake oven. I'm not pregnant for realsies. Celebratory party at the house tonight. Invite all the nice dicks you know.
Think I pulled my pelvic muscle.
I think I pulled my ashamed of myself muscle.
He thinks he's a sex addict. Just. My. Type.
I want to just live in between your butt cheeks.
I was watching porn and wanted to change the tab to another video to cum but I clicked the wrong tab and it was a gif of a dog but I was coming and couldn't do anything so did I jill off to a dog? I feel like I should be guilty
Oh good, bag of butt plugs is in my predictive text now
Typing the whole thing out was getting to be such a chore
I'm deleting Tinder. I got there he rubbed my back and then proceeded to jerk off on me.
Puked in the trash can. Took a bite of someone's breadstick and kept dancing and drinking
It's totally a relationship. we have sex in other people's beds, watch mad men while high and get drunk on his teammates' beer. don't you dare stomp on my dreams with your societal judgments
How drunk were you? in an effort to seduce him, you demonstrated your lap dance skillz on his dog.
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