Will you still be my friend if I read and enjoyed Twilight?
No
Nothing too bad. Lost a stuffed horse on a stick and tore my clothes off. Again.
stayed up until 6am doing my presentation on buddhist art and the practice of chanting. took shots. did drugs. the powerpoint now includes a sesame street style game (with chicken/puppy clip art), an xzibit music video (and quotes about section eight and eating steaks), and a reference to a german metal band (universe). this is going to be the best presentation ever
burritoes are like sleeping bags for ground beef
I am waking up at 7am to go to church with him and his family... I better get eaten out tonight.
RJ thinks I should put one of the muffins in my vagina. Good idea or bad idea?
As it turns out, drunk trust falling that guy at the top of the waterslide didn't really work out for anyone..
My New Years Resolution is to come up with a new resolution monthly. January: decrease my shotgunning consumption speed to 7 seconds or less.
Haha...we lost by one cup to a guy w shitty facial hair. What makes me most mad abt the loss is that I could grow a better beard on my vag.
seeing two freshman taking a cab home at noon on a Monday makes me realize how much worse my life choices could have been
did i really sing to your nipples last night?
yes. and it was oddly very seductive
I got tossed from adult league soccer for telling a 55 year old I'd break his hip. I'm a productive member of society
My fridge is empty and all of my food is in the bathtub. Just.. Why?
Glad I can drunkenly remember to not get tomatoes on my Mexican pizza but can't tell a guy to keep his hands off my ass
Eating an avocado like an apple while doing shots of fireball and watching finding nemo. I need to get my shit together.
Randomize
