So for his birthday I'm planning on doing what stripper did when she put the matches on her nipples..lights them n makes him blow them out..SEE I AM dating material.
I don't think brook has ever known best
he said i was the most charming throwing up drunk person hes ever taken care of. so of course i had sex with him.
her face looked like how i feel after Taco Bell
I'm sitting in my bathroom sink, eating a tuna sandwich. He had better weed than I expected.
So at what point do I tell her that I like fucking these hot southern girls more than I like my relationship with her?
Yeah but the gay hasidics turned out to actually just be real gay hasidics
she just pulled a hulk hogan to make her point. no idea how it helped
You were yelling in my ear let's double team her with her right next to us
just woke up in a camero on the way to nebraska, i would appreciate it if you answered your phone.
Like 50% of me thinks it'll be weird, 25% of me is curious & 25% of me is horny
I can't sleep. My mind keeps asking "turn down for what?" but it won't accept any of my answers.
EITHER I'M HIGH OR JUST REACHED A NEW LEVEL OF SINGLE FEMALE SADNESS BECAUSE THIS BROWNIE IS GIVING ME ORGASMS
"Because this is an ongoing legal matter" is how his morning after sex text began. So...
He sang the chorus to “Inside of you” by Russel Brand in Forgetting Sarah Marshall as he proceeded to not pull out...
Honestly? I wouldn’t even be mad, that probably took talent
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