I can't finish this paper in my room because every time I get distracted I start masterbating. I think it's time to go to the library...
Found: medium sized pair of mens pants tucked inside my purse w/ a dry cleaners coupon in left pocket. Call if you wish to claim the coupon
I'm at about main and main street
I almost shit my pants in anger over your moral sanity.
Apparently I told the girl smoking was terrible for her, and then requested it in my mouth.
Haha at least the one I have like that you can't tell we are completely drunk and you're about to kick a glass out of my hand in a fit of joy over pizza.
Also, I'm sat on the floor drinking cava because life is just not working for me tonight.
Her dog trainer Fuck buddy is over here again. She sounds like a squeaky toy and he talks to her like he talks to the dog. I CAN HEAR EVERYTHING!!!
Thanks for setting a pic of your balls as my desktop background. You'll find you're cc'ed on the mass email of it.
I'm trying to be all porn star and he's making it all The Notebook
By god, his vagina is better looking than mine.
Bro.. I am absolutely going to have sex with our old middle school health teacher
Literally had sex in his grow room under a plant.. ganja queen .
Fuck. I did it again. I plugged in my toaster and walked away thinking it needed to preheat. I am dumb.
His bedroom is the preferred destination of MILFs, cougars, recent divorcees and sexually frustrated wives
His penis is my hero
Randomize
