I'll just stay a virgin forever then
You still have to go anyway
Then I guess I'll have to start sleeping around
we have officially mastered the walk of shame
jersey shore drinking game rules must be edited. almost died. how is it possible for a person to say guido that many times
I wonder if i passed any courses from last semester
They're calling for 20 inches of snow but I'll have a dirtbike for emergency trips to the liquor store. Even if I crash it won't hurt.
I woke up locked in the bar...this has redefined partying.
I'd bet your vomit would be flammable at this point. Can I try to light it?
We wouldn't be friends if you didn't.
I may wear a condom to jerk-off tomorrow knowing that my hand has touched surfaces in this bar.
I owe you cheese. The drunk munchies don't acknowledge food ownership.
when the repo soundtrack came on in the middle of us having sex i realized it was about time that i clear out my itunes library
Literally just inhaled three cinnamon rolls. Sara is staring. It was inhuman
Things were going really well until his cousin showed up. She told him I look kind of like his mom, which started a ten-minute debate on my and his mother's specific features, and ultimately, who is prettier. Guess who my date picked.
I guess "hi, I know your mom, she taught me in high school" is an effective pickup line
on a scale of one to ten where does vomming from being hungover during a professionalism lecture fit
aloe plants are like gummy bears with an exoskeleton, but with healing powers instead of deliciousness.
are you on the drugs???
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