Got home from the bar at 4am. 100% sober, unlaid. Epic fail or responsible behavior?
Responsible fail?
This is the worst date ever. Pls kill me. No, wait, scratch that, stick to the original plan of killing Paris Hilton, I'll live though this
Facebook is used to stalk your friends, Twitter is used to stalk celebritie=s, and Myspace is used to stalk underaged girls. Everything else is porn. T=he Internet in a nutshell.
you were crying and trying to give advice to people.. that's was a new level of drunk for you
did you know that if you have sex in the elevator on the way up that people can still get in?
Yeah we can't find him. He left a note saying he left and isn't that drunk with what appears to be an attempt at the quadratic formula for proof. He also wrote down his number and left his phone by the note
Briing, briiing- tricycle ridden. Where is my crown?
He fucked me so hard I might have to go to the hospital for internal bleeding
Can I have him when you're done?
That awkward moment when the guy you hooked up on spring break invites you over for dinner to meet his parents and you say yes because the first rule of college is never turn down a free meal.
THE SHIT YOU GET YOURSELF INTO
our flight took off 8 am and the bar didn't close til 5, so we decided it was a good idea to just stay out all night. Drunk logic is awesome. We were all scared we wouldn't get let onto the plane
Apparently I told him he would be good for human sacrifice.
Like he was trying to be sexy but he had shit taste in porn so i left
I guess you could say that.. I mean, we did walk in on our DD doing a keg stand thru her ass.
You mentioned his name and i threw up a little.
Well, thanks for not letting me sleep with anyone, but no thanks for telling everyone I have the clap.
Randomize
