Im so sleepy and hes snoring super loud! i just wanna suffocate him, sleep, and deal with the body when I wake up
I'm pretty sure there's seven mailboxes in the bathtub...
My lips are red and swollen. Solid proof that giving head is a viable alternative to lipstick and plumper.
yeah a little bit of me felt bad about it. But the rest of me was having sex with him.
I drank butter last night, who am I to judge?
Law school has no idea what kind of prospect they have coming in. I just convinced a cop not to take me to jail by asking him if he really felt like cleaning puke out of his car tonight.
Her dad high fived me on the way out the door. Not the reaction i expected after she came so loud.
Lets just make a point system, like if we have sex add a point, if they leave after take away a point, if they stay all fucking day take away a point
He just walked from his house to mine. Walked in and asked for a hug and then left.. And he's sober.
I asked him why he was eating an entire can of refried beans, the only answer I got was "revenge"
wow thanks for pushing me towards an older man
you gotta start somewhere if you're going to be a trophy wife
I felt like the hulk waking up from a black out except with munchies
Come get your pancakes and take a nap in my boobs.
Blunts beyotch
What? Joints? Blunts?
I'll refer you to my previous text: "Blunts beyotch"
The ass gains better be worth it
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