Don't you think facebook is a bit pretentious, suggesting friends and all? No facebook, I would NOT like to be friends with a girl whose fiancee I have slept with.
i think i just was awoken by the sound of my roommate choking on her boyfriend's dick
Shiiiit I think I'm getting sick. probably had something to do with the fact that i shared my mouth with everyone last night.
Wait. That came out far sluttier than I intended.
waiting in line for my ID. the kid in front of me reaks of hopes and dreams and hornyness-- freshmen by calvin klein
YouTube is recomending me a video on how to make a home made meth bong, what has my life come to?
votings over. no more wacking it to anti christine o'donnell ads
I found her in the bathroom licking her screwdriver off the floor. she said there was no way she was wasting a $6 drink.
i just had to hear from a third party that he came inside of me
Dude, you were dipping oreos in vodka and asking people to try it, "It's so good!"
I want to wear Christmas sweaters with you.
Are you texting, crying and driving?
And missing part of my eyebrow. Correct that is the description one would give of me at the moment.
Sooooooo this guy just asked me if I'd be interested in a threesome... I'm considering bc I would get to hang out with his dog afterwards.
Look, all I'm saying is that you're going to be a great Vodka Mom.
when I finally convinced you to get off the floor you looked at me wild-eyed and said "the carpet was a VAST EXPANSE OF SEA"
death, taxes, and me drunk texting you are 3 certainties in life
Randomize
