If no ones going to say it, then I will. Vanessa Hudgens boobs are weird looking
all adderall does is make me the grand champion of using wikipedia.
He's been grabbing my ass as a greeting since 2004, sex was overdue
Also I smoked away my sore throat last night. It's a 420 miracle.
I'm going to see if it catches on fire again, then I'll make the decision.
I was in the freezer we were knocking over shit. Speaking of which i asked my boss. I can hook up with girls in the freezer
Yeah just sayin. Whenever you want to come over and wank me off you can
thought the power was flickering out but it turns out im just blinking
I always hoped that one day I'd have a sex position named in my honor.
He thinks he's a sex addict. Just. My. Type.
I went with plan f. get drunk and start a fire in my yard
After you passed out we took your car to the campus and stole a 150lb plaque that's now in your trunk. Happy birthday!
I hate drunk me more than anyone else in this world
I was so close to going to get my nipples pierced with my mom today
I may or may not be drunker than time right now.
Girl behind me in line at CVS was getting impatient then outta nowhere blew up shouting that if she didn't get her plan B soon she might be a mom and that if we couldn't tell she'd be a horrible mom
Randomize
