operation harelip BJ is a go
I bought a Christmas tree in my drunken state last night, after walking a half mile in search of vino and prior to my apparently playing boardgames with my boyfriend's family. There is no way you are on my level.
i just shit on the floor of my room. my roommate was in the bathroom, my choices were limited.
She sent me a text saying she picked out 17 different Halloween costumes for our kids when they hit the age of 4... The cling factor should have me running right now but honestly I'm just curious
On that note; HAPPY 21: THE SEQUEL from the back of an ambulance!!
Its only.eleven and we are already chasing a man on a bike with a bag full of burger king
I'm basically just sitting in the porta poTty finishing my bottle of champagne bc I am too lazy to carry it back to the tailgate
I sent "Rawrrrr" to 151 matches on Tinder. I feel like thats a substantial size of the DC female population.
Competitive oral. I'm always telling girls they are only the fourth, maybe third, best blowjob I've had. They go back down with something to prove.
He yearns for your heart.
He needs to stop being a pussy about it.
High-fiving last weekend's hook up in passing on the way to class has given me quite the lady boner.
I'm prostituting myself for tickets to Disney World. There's a contradiction there.
AND I HAVE A NICE COCK! A STRIPPER TOLD ME SO IT MUST BE TRUE!
Had to trim my nails cus they got too long to effectively finger myself with
Good morning beautiful! Wanna steal a cat this weekend?
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